There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
