Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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