just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
