I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
