Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
