He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
