she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
