Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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