would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
