Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize