As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
