Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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