was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it's like iHOP with fire
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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