Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
