hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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