Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
