I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
