I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
