HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Too much gin, very little bucket
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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