Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
