You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
PANTIES FOUND
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