well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
