Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
