just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
