hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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