whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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