so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
porn star boner night. come get it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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