1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
