I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
