Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
