so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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