i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
