Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
