I'm sorry my penis didn't work
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
