Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
