at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
