there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
