i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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