And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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