I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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