I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
