omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
