I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
