It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
