with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
