What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
