Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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