screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
