Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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