they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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