Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
