He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
