I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
