how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
