Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
