So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
