You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
