D3 body, D1 cock
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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