Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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