I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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