I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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